In about 5 days, Ayra will turn 11 months. Every
time she turns a new month is a reminder of how many months I have become a
mother too.
Juggling the shoes of being a mother, a
wife, a full time working woman, a daughter, a daughter-in-law and squeeze a “me” time
requires planning and organizing, I have to admit sometimes it is not
easy. I have to admit sometimes I may have bitten more than I can chew. And sometimes
I do wonder how my mother did it before.
Ok before you continue, I will have to warn you that this post is LONG. You may have to grab a cup of coffee if you want to proceed. :P
When my mother had me, she was a full time
microbiology student in UK. I had to mentioned where she had me, as it
indicates she doesn't have the support system I am having now. But having said
that, she does have her twin sister, friends and my dad to help. Being a full
time student it was hard for her to fully breastfeed me, so I had to be on
mixed diet. Unfortunately I was lactose intolerant. Mum and dad had to fork out
a fortune to supply me with soy based milk. It was expensive during those days
and mind you they were only students. And before i was diagnosed of lactose intolerant i was in and out of clinics and hospitals frequently..
On top of that if some of you know my mum
personally, you’d know my mum is a cleanaholic and has OCD. So she has to have
her house in perfect condition and cleanliness. Have to. If you have OCD you’d
know what I mean too hihi. Imagine having a small child and still having a perfectly
clean house.
And then along the way mummy was pregnant
with my sis too. Despite that she still excelled in her studies. Superwoman
I tell you. To me lah.
I still have no idea how she juggled everything
and still have time to cook for my dad and solid food for me. I asked but she couldn't
remember hehe.
I am coming to my point of the story. So bear
with me. You have your coffee with you right?Anyway, it doesn't hurt to boast a lil about my own mother kan. Hehe.. Tu
belum masuk citer pasal another superwoman in my life, she is my mother in law.. Hihihi..
As for me, I am still learning. Learning to
be the best wife as I can be for my husband. Learning to be the best mother I can
for my Ayra. While trying to be an efficient staff at the office. While trying
to maintain a good household. While also trying to keep a healthy lifestyle. While also being a good daughter and daughter in-law.
To be honest, my house can never be as clean as I’d like
it to be. It would be far from my mother’s standards. She would be horrified
just looking at the state of my house. But, it is not dirty lah, not to that
extend. It is considered clean by general standard. Hihihi.. Sometimes chaotic
and cluttered with things here and there, especially stuff of my small and big
baby (you know what I mean kan). And since I too am guilty of being a hoarder,
my house is full of stuff! Sometimes we have unfolded laundry for 3-4 days
straight!! I can’t stand the sight of unfolded laundry in my house. I can’t stand having dirty dishes in
the sink. These are my household pet peeves, and the dirty dishes one will
irritate the hell out of Ajoy when I nagged about not washing up immediately
kihkihkih..
However having said that, both my husband and I have no choice but to
clean up after ourselves. If we don’t sape plak nak buat tul tak. We don’t have
a magic genie to keep our house clean while we laze around. Bagus la duk
sendiri ni, we learn to clean up our own mess and tak manja. We can only depend
on each other lagi pun. Nak manja2 and malas2 bole gi check in hotel haha..
I have mentioned time and time again, my
husband helps me quite a lot in terms of housework which I am very grateful
for. If I have to do everything, I think one day somebody would find me dead
under a pile of laundry. Or worse, poppy diapers! LOL!
As for cooking, Saturday will be my cooking
day for Ayra’s solid food for the whole week. I know some moms will wake up
earlier to cook the food fresh every day. To each their own kan. I wish I can
wake up at 5am every day just so that I can have my child’s meal prepared fresh
every day, but I would be kidding myself. Lying to myself. And chewing more
than I can swallow. I’d treasure sleeping with my baby more teeheehee. As long
as she is eating home-cooked meal prepared by moi.. tu belum masuk masak for
both of us lagi tu. But then I only have the weekend to do so. And to ensure
both of us eat healthily I prefer to cook too. Unless I was too tired that day,
to which Ajoy would volunteer to call for food service or always happy to
oblige to do so himself.. he loves fast food.. ^_^
Sounds easy. But to me sometimes it does
take its toll on me. This motherhood. This new life. Especially when Ayra is
always super clingy to me.
Sometimes I can’t even chop carrots without
her whining to make me pick her up. Sometimes I do get irritated because I need
to get the freaking vege chopped or she won’t have her vege in her meal for the
whole week!!! But when I look at her innocent face, of course I will drop the knife
and surrender to my lil bubs. Then Ajoy will take over the chopping and
steaming and blending. Bless him. He is not an angel, he does have his malas
moments too. Biasa la tu kan. :P
So now da jadi mak, baru tau that being a
mom means much more than just hugging and playing with our child. Much, much more.
With it comes a whole load of responsibilities that Allah has entrusted us to
take care of. Being a working mom on top of it means we have no choice but to
be a juggler. Trying to balance ourselves between family and work. Trying to
fit in all the shoes Allah has given us.
I am grateful that my mother taught us so
much especially in terms of handling ourselves in our house, relatives’ houses
and public. All the ones that I pick up will be instilled in my household
dynamics and balanced with Ajoy’s upbringing and his household dynamics that he
brings to our little family too. These too were instilled when both of us are
at each other’s in-law’s houses. I will always remember what my mother told me
time and time again before “How we carry ourselves reflects your upbringing. If
you fail means we (my parents) fail.” And in no way I am going to make my
relatives, especially my in laws to think my parents fail to bring me up
properly. I hope I have at least succeeded in not making my presence a nuisance
at my in-laws house. That is the last thing I want. Eh dah melalut dah ni..
I see all these as ujian dari Allah. Sometimes
when I am in a pit I will doa kuat2 and ask Allah to ease it up a little. Macam
dalam drama melayu doa kuat2 tu.. Haa macam tu la haha.. Juggling all these
roles pun ujian Allah betul tak..
Haa ni baru sorang anak kan.. kalau tambah
lagi sorang ntah caner ntah hahaha.. and if lagi sorang? Haiyoyo.. I hope by
that time I would be an expert juggler!
Ok abis dah rambling of a new mother. Yang da anak ramai mesti rasa macam what I share ni sangat mehhhhh.. Hihi.. I'm learning, bear with me k.. ^_^
p/s: as I am writing this, I am actually waiting for update and info for my work from other department.. bukan curi tulang tau hikhikhikkk..
