So the question many people have been
asking me is when do we plan to have baby no. 2?
This has been discussed repeatedly with my
husband. I have wanted to write about it and coincidently this morning my
sister in law shared a very interesting article by Dr Zubaidi on this issue (click HERE for the article)
Having a baby will change our lives no
matter how we deny it. Apa lagi baby no 2, no 3, and so forth. When people say
sure it will get easier sebab da banyak experience but I believe with every new
baby comes new challenges in the household. I suppose it is all about how as a
parent we manage and mitigate everything.
There are so many things to consider when
thinking about baby no 2. Financial strength tu mmg tak yah sebut la kan, it is
like duhhh so obvious kut.. as for us, we are not financially ready for baby no
2 yet.. having said this, even if mampu, byk lagi aspects nak kena tgk..
Bila ada baby no2 kena fikir cost
babysitter kali dua, susu kali dua, diapers kali dua, baju, kasut, brg2
keperluan baby, etc. Then nak kena fikir nak ke babysitter tolong jaga adik
Ayra skali? Kalau da ada baby lain time tu mmg Ibu tak nak sbb Ibu jaga one
baby at one time jer.. Then takkan nak hantar separate place? Or dua2 hantar
another babysitter? Dah satu hal nak kena cari a new person to be trusted. Tu
yang paling susah.
Dr Zubaidi mentioned career. Betul sesangat2..
Like myself, skrg ni pun every month nak kena travel. Bayangkan la kalau gi
outstation, kesian giler kat Ajoy kena jaga 2 babies.. Takkan nak menyusahkan
mak or mak mertua plak kan.. Lagi la kesian!! Oooo tidak tidak, that is not
me.. Kalau emergency je baru mintak tolong diaorg.. But Alhamdulillah keje kat
sini bleh balik keje on time.. Tu pun sampai shah alam dah lambat.. So part ni
pun kena consider..
Above all kan, deep in my heart I wonder if
having a second baby will make me a neglected parent towards Ayra. THIS is what
I fear most. That Ayra don’t feel loved by us anymore. That Ayra feels
neglected due to the arrival of the 2nd baby. That we, as parents do
not know how to divide our attention and affection equally for both children.
Paling paling paling tak mau is Ayra rasa macam kitaorg dah tak sayang dia. I
know this is happening to many many children and believe me, this affects the
child sampai dia jadi adult. This will also affect the child psychologically and emotionally, and sometimes will cause social problems in the future too. Takut kan???
Citer pasal ni pun da rasa sebak.. Tak
boleh imagine Ayra rasa mcm tu.. So this is one of the points by Dr Zubaidi
jugak – hubungan dengan anak2. Bagi kitaorg, Ajoy and I kan, kitaorgkan tunggu
nak dapat Ayra agak lama.. So of course kitaorg akan tatang dia macam princess..
If Allah kurniakan another zuriat we will learn to manage and mitigate because
Allah knows best. Allah knows it is time and we can do it. But for now, of
course kitaorg rasa macam belum mampu lagi. Dari pelbagai segi. Hope this answers the question. :)
As you all may know, I am quite a hands-on
mother. I am not the type yang lepas tangan. Nak buat macam mana I am a working
mother too. So nak buat macam mana kena hantar ke babysitter. But that doesn’t mean
makan pakai Ayra I lepas tangan. That doesn’t mean lepas tgn dlm mendidik dia
jugak. NO. I will not do that because she is our child, it is our
responsibility. I cannot stand those yang main lepas tangan je. Buat anak
pandai, jaga anak tak pandai! So, kalau ada 2nd child, I want to
make sure Ayra still gets my love and attention that she used to get. I don’t think
m asking for much kan..
Kalau yang dah ramai anak sure rasa giler
petty apa yang kau rasa ni.. Nanti da dpt 2nd 3rd child
tu da tak rasa canie da pun.. Petty or not, this is our household. Apa yang
berlaku dlm rumah kami, kami yang tanggung, kami yang lalui semua nya. NOT YOU.
So please keep your opinions to yourself. We don’t need it because bukan korang
yg jaga anak kami. Bukan korang yang bagi duit utk kami hidup.
Bila tgk kawan2 pregnant, borak dgn diaorg
pasal pregnancy mmg rasa rindu giler nak pregnant.. But I always remind myself,
pregnant 9 bulan je. But lepas lahirkan will be a lifetime ride (sampai la kita meninggal hihihi). A ride that we
have to choose which route we have to take. A ride that we cannot get off. It
will be a fun, challenging and of course occasionally testing ride. But it will
be a ride that we all will cherish insyaAllah.
Then again, like I’ve said before, if I am
pregnant in the near future then Alhamdulillah. Allah knows what is best. If I am
not pregnant bila Ayra dah 5 tahun pun, Allah knows what is best. Trust His
Plans.
p/s: tu baru citer pasal another 1 baby.. what if
baby no2 are twins??? cant imagine.. x_x
