before i got married and pregnant, i was so used to seeing family members around me breastfeeding that it never occurred to me to opt for anything else other than breastfeeding.
then i got pregnant, i found out about the benefits of breastfeeding (other than mummy-baby bonding).. naturally i never thought of any other way to feed my child other than breastfeeding. hence my research of how to bf my baby as soon as she was out.
BUT never ever not even once anybody told me that bf is HARD!!!!
the first day when Ayra was born i didnt even know if i was already producing any colostrum.. sumbat je kat Ayra.. our first night was quite difficult when she kept on crying and crying.. tak tau la dia lapar ke apa ke..
on the 3rd fateful day plak.. no milk!!! oh gosh.. i was so worried and kept thinking is this the end of my journey?? at tis point of time i havent joined any bf groups in fb so i didnt really know wat to do. i was lucky to have a SIL who hv given birth to her son 11 days prior my delivery so she had more knowledge of bf than i did.. she was the one who introduced power pumping to me and bf ayra while i got my milk kicked in again. pumping for an hour and producing only a few drops did discourage me at first.. but my husband kept encouraging me tat it is ok, there is milk, there is milk..
alhamdulillah on the 4th day milk came back.. hey milk, did u take an AL, MC or something? ish.. buat org risau je tak pasal2..
during tat 1st weeks my nipple cracked and bled.. it was so painful to bf to the point tat i cried everytime ayra feeds.. i was overwhelmed with fear of the pain to come but still continued to bf ayra despite the pain.
i cant remember for how long, but Ayra and I didnt latch properly.. i hv to mention both coz bf is a learning process for both of us kan.. it was so hard to make her latch properly. i didnt knw if it was how i held her ke, how i sat ke apa ke.. clueless.. to top it off, everytime Ayra wanted to feed, and when i expose her food, she will be so agitated and kept putting her hands in her mouth tat made it hard for me to feed her. nak pegang baju lagi, nak pegang ayra lagi, nak make sure bra tak tertutup lagi, nak make sure tak terdedah lagi, nak make sure ayra latch properly lagi, nak hold ayra's hands still lagi.. everytime nk bf it was a struggle for us. i was always so hot and sweating by the time ayra settles and feed. i think it took us about 2 months just to hv a firm and proper latch..
however somehow during all those ups n downs it never occured to me to switch to fm even though my baby seemed to reject me.. it never occured to me to stop bf even thru all tat.. somehow to me mcm takde choice lain other than bf. tak tau la knp..
watching Ayra's kenyang face after feeding is the best reward after all the crying and frustration, after all the "Ayra mummy nk feed la ni, pls move your hands.." and "Ayra please dont push me away, m trying to feed you coz ure hungry.." it still is the best reward of bf until today. love watching her after her feed..
and now, seven months later alhamdulillah we're still at it. it is easier now alhamdulillah.. but not without some challenges of course.. ayra ni jenis kalau da kenyang, if suakan jugak boobies at her mmg mengamuk mcm kena paksa apa jer.. and if u know her, u wudnt want ayra in mengamuk mode hahahaha.. i prefer to feed her both sides so tat she'll be full longer la kan.. but sometimes after 1 side da cukup da for her. tp 1 hour later lapar la balik.. but if she feeds both sides bole la tahan 2 hours.. but wat to do, if she's done, she's done.. dont argue hahaha..
to me direct feeding is great.. but i really resent pumping.. every other day mesti ada clogged duct.. seriously annoying giler!!! and of course sakit giler!!! having clogged duct is one of the reasons i wanna be SAHM.. hahaha blehhh.. sbb if df confirm takde clogged/blocked duct yippeee.. :P
wanna share something tat is very useful to me in this journey - nursing tank and nursing pillow. ohhhh i cant even begin to tell you how beneficial these two items are. bf mummies agree tak? hehehe..
nursing tank is like my essential since ntah bila start pakai tah.. it is so useful whenever m wearing something with buttons.. buttoned up blouses or dresses are bf friendly. yeppp.. BUT they expose way too much flesh in the process! and as i pump in the car morning n after work, and feed ayra at PIL's house in the open (not in a room) and in the car the tank provides more coverage than normal nursing bra. tis is on daily basis la. if kenduri2 or going out lg la perlu sgt2..
nursing pillow plak ensures we dont bend down too much while feeding and senang sgt nk switch sides compared to using normal pillows as alas baby..
honestly, i thought i could only bf until ayra is 6 mths. all of u knw tat she is on mixed feeding since she turned 5 mths kan.. but it never occured to me tat despite the challenges, and the ups and downs of my supply tat i would make it tis far and still going alhamdulillah.. m just going with the flow, if tis is one of Ayra's rezeki then who am i to stop feeding Ayra her hak betul tak..
m really curious to see how long i can bf Ayra.. how far our journey goes..
doakan yang terbaik utk kami ya..
^_^
doakan yang terbaik utk kami ya..
^_^
